Off Brief: Nothing© is possible

Creative Grant Rutherford
By Creative Grant Rutherford | 20 May 2016
 
Grant Rutherford

Nothing. Nadda. Zero. That’s what I’ve got for you this week. Nothing is inside my head. Nothing’s coming out.

Maybe the two brain cells I have left after years of too much thinking have rendered me useless. But wait,

I think those cells may have just bumped together and gifted me an idea … wait for it … wait … no, still nothing.

I like nothing by the way. I’m really good at it. Some brands are good for nothing. However, most brands would rather you do something. But the best ones turn nothing into a virtue.

Aero chocolate bar had the strap line ‘It’s the bubbles of nothing that make it really something’.

I love those bubbles. They’re my kind of bubbles. They make me feel something if not nothing. Adidas had the wonderful line, ‘Nothing’s impossible’. When I think about it, it would have been better to say, ‘Nothing is possible’. Or ‘Wear my stripes and you can either run a marathon or lay about’. I like the sound of the latter.

What about Sinead O’Connor’s song, Nothing compares 2 U? Does that mean the subject is comparable to nothing? Obviously she doesn’t think too much about that person.

That’s unless, like me, she loves ‘nothing’. It was actually Prince who penned the hit and he was really something.

Now I see one of my favourite bands Radiohead has recently deleted all its social media presence.

In fact, the website imagery slowly vanished over three days. Nothing. Are they too seeing the virtue of nothing?

The group’s fans have gone nuts, anticipating ‘something’ big from the shoe-gazing-antiestablishment.

Seems the theory you can make more of an impact whispering than screaming from the rooftop is still alive. Brands take heed.

I once had a strategy for Converse Chuck Taylor All-Star high tops. When you think about them gracing basketball courts since 1917 (before AIR was invented – another lot of nothing) and the radical rise of sports shoe technologies, Converse

Chuck Taylors have been for the last few decades literally ‘good for nothing’. That’s an idea. We even made ads. Thinking about it for a second, I think the brand was, and is, good for something. Podiatrists.

All this talk of ‘nothing’ has given me an idea (my two cells have finally met). Could I patent Nothing©?

I could make Nothing© a company that makes products. Ok, I never said it was a good idea, but it’s an idea. Then I could hand-on-heart say I founded Nothing©, that I work for Nothing© and I produce a whole lot of Nothing©. I’d do it just to hear job interviewees explain to me at great length why they’re “good for Nothing©”.

Imagine clients coming on board with, “Grant, I want you to make ‘nothing’ for me. How does a million dollars sound?’ My products wouldn’t be ‘The best thing since sliced bread’, they’d be ‘The best thing since Nothing©. I’d even have huge billboards screaming, “Nothing© to see here” and “Buy Nothing©” and “Nothing©, now 50% off”.

Better still, every t-shirt out there with nothing on it would be a promotional vehicle for my brand.

However, the challenge would be keeping Nothing© relevant, staying ahead of the curve and making Nothing© interesting.

But I instinctively feel Nothing© would keep its relevance in a world where we’re constantly asked to do ‘something’. It would also keep me in the manner to which I’ve become accustomed, working on, and immersing myself in, a world of ‘nothing’. Problem is, I’d have nothing to show for it. Or is that a problem?

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