Lucinda Kingham.
The MFA DE&I Council would like to see an industry where everyone can thrive, feel heard, supported, and safe to do their best work. Let’s meet the Changers who are sharing their own lived experiences to inspire us all to change for the better.
You don’t really understand how all-consuming grief is until you’re in it.
Last year, my mum passed away suddenly at the age of 59. My parents had separated when I was young, and as an only child, I was responsible for managing what followed.
I travelled from London, where I was living at the time, back to my hometown of Edinburgh and dealt with everything that comes with losing someone. There were big decisions to make, paperwork to sort out, and family members to support.
What surprised me most was that grief wasn’t just emotional, it became administrative. Suddenly there was an endless list of forms to fill in and phone calls to make at a time when just getting out of bed felt like enough of an achievement. It was like taking on a second job, one I never applied for and definitely didn’t want.
Like many people, I assumed the hardest part would be taking time away from work. In reality, I found myself worrying more about coming back. What would I say? How much would I share? Would people feel awkward around me?
Looking back, I needn’t have worried. My manager and colleagues gave me the time and space I needed without guilt or expectation. There was no pressure to “get back to normal” and no expectation that I would suddenly be fine.
What I didn’t expect was that work would become one of the few steady parts of my life. It didn’t make the grief disappear, but it gave me structure when everything else felt uncertain. Some days I needed distraction. Other days I needed flexibility. Being trusted to manage that myself made a huge difference.
I had always thought workplace support was primarily about giving people permission to step away when they are going through challenging times. What I learnt is that the support people receive when they return can matter just as much.
A few months later, I moved from London to Sydney. It was something I had planned before my mum died, and I wasn’t sure whether I should still go. Part of me felt guilty about moving as planned, but I also knew she would have wanted me to continue living my life.
After arriving, I was struck by how familiar that sense of support felt within the same company on the other side of the world. It reinforced something I’ve come to believe strongly – culture isn’t defined by location, it’s defined by people.
Since moving, I’ve met several people in our industry who have lost a parent. Hearing how differently people experience grief at work has reinforced another lesson: grief isn’t something you move through and leave behind. It becomes part of you. Sometimes there’s sadness, sometimes perspective and, occasionally, a bit of dark humour that somehow makes difficult things easier to talk about.
Grief doesn’t follow a timeline, and it doesn’t stop when compassionate leave ends. It shows up unexpectedly – in meetings, on commutes, in moments that have nothing to do with it, and having the space to navigate it, even at work, can make a difference.
Workplaces can’t take grief away, but they can create an environment where people don’t have to carry it alone.
Lucinda Kingham is Marketing & Growth Director, WPP Media
Have something to say on this? Share your views in the comments section below. Or if you have a news story or tip-off, drop us a line at adnews@yaffa.com.au
Sign up to the AdNews newsletter, like us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter for breaking stories and campaigns throughout the day.