A series by AdNews shinning a light on toxic masculinity and encourages Australians to support themselves and their mates. Featuring industry leaders sharing personal experiences with the tagline -- When the going gets tough, get talking.
It celebrates the BOYS DO CRY campaign, which launched with a transformed version of The Cure’s iconic song, Boys Don’t Cry. The campaign is the brainchild of independent advertising agency The Hallway, produced in partnership with The University of Melbourne’s Centre for Mental Health, Heiress Films, Good Oil’s Tom Campbell, Uncanny Valley, Initiative and powered by UnLtd – raising funds for mental fitness foundation Gotcha4Life.
Dan Monheit, Founder at Hardhat Melbourne:
When was the last time you cried?
Just on six months ago (and almost again now as I write about it). Oscar, a dear friend of mine in America, passed away after a long, gutsy battle with brain cancer. He was the most positive, optimistic person I’ve ever had the pleasure of calling a friend and stayed upbeat until the very end.
Oscar was a couple of years younger than I am and has left behind a beautiful wife and a gorgeous young son. Because of Covid, all I could do was dial into the service on a flakey Zoom connection from my bedroom in the early hours of the morning. It was such a brutal reminder of how precious life is, and how unfair it can be.
Tell us about your experience of traditional masculine stereotypes growing up.
The school I attended until I was14 was small, insular, and if I’m honest, very nerdy. The masculine stereotypes were more of the rabbinical variety which was never going to be my path. When I turned 15 however, I transferred to Melbourne High which was a completely different universe. 350 boys per year level featuring every kind of alpha male, and a proud school history of excellence across football, rowing, athletics, and dozens of other sporting pursuits that I sucked at.
Not being much of an athlete (to put it mildly) I found myself thrown upside down into hedges from time to time, but never anything worse than that. The school was big enough that most niches were covered from drama enthusiasts, debating champs and the musically inclined right through to devotees of sausage rolls or the Hong Kongkanese card game ‘Big Two’. I managed to slot myself in somewhere between the Green Day fans (don’t judge!) and the NBA junkies which was comfortable, but we always knew our place in the pecking order.
What would you tell your 15-year-old self about opening and showing your emotions?
It’s actually not so different from what I tell my 41-year-old self. Opening and showing emotion isn’t something that comes easily or naturally but it’s so important for building deep, meaningful relationships - which is really the only thing that matters in life.
What do you want for the next generation?
When I look at my kids (9 and 6), I just want them to grow up in a world where they’re free and comfortable to express themselves without judgment and in turn, for them to learn not to judge others.
What do we, as a society, need to do to challenge views that men should always put on a brave front?
Representation matters, in every sense. We need to continue broadening our definition of what men should be/say/do and in doing so, accelerate the types of male figures we choose to populate our screens, books, and magazines.
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