The secrets we were privy to usually saw the sun for two weeks on the back page of the mag and then were hidden forever. Not any more. Welcome to Off the Record online the July edition – where the dirt goes from static to shareable. Don't forget if you want to be in the know, as it happens, you can get the goss direct to your iPad, or subscribe in print here.
Ladies love a tan
As Ashley Madison's data breach has proved – extramarital affairs are rife – but just how rife in adland, OTR wonders? It might not be too long before all is revealed, but one tanned adland scoundrel is thought to have two preferences when it comes to the ladies: they're best when they can be "fired or f*cked". Charmed, we're sure.
Torrent king
With all the access to streaming sites, it’s wonder anyone bothers pirating anymore, OTR certainly wouldn’t condone it, but one media agency boss admits to sticking with the torrent sites - not just to watch kids’ CGI movies, but to keep a keen eye on which rival media agencies aren’t toeing the line on brand safety if ads for local brands appear.
Live more No
One particularly large account currently in play might be having a tough time getting the short-list it wants as procurement comes back to bite it on the arse. Bosses on both sides of the fence are turning up their noses at the potential to earn a mere two bucks for a shed load of work.
Crying over spilt milk
Agency bosses are sick of talking about transparency. Clients trying to demand transparency is akin to “flogging a dead horse”. “They’re all saying that they want transparency, but I can’t walk into Woolies and demand to see what margin they’re making on milk.” growled one.
Flatter me much
Imitation is the biggest form of flattery. However, OTR feels that identity theft is crossing the line. Recently at an industry event, there was a rogue stranger claiming to be one of the fine reporters of this fair journal. We're flattered – but also freaked out. Please don't do it. We know you're out there and we don't like it.
Embarrassed reader
“Australia's tall poppy syndrome is just embarrassing” laments one agency boss this week. OTR has heard it all before. Usually it's in the same breath as slagging off someone else’s work. OTR would like to live by the mantra 'if you don't have anything nice to say – don't say anything at all' but that wouldn't leave much in this column, would it?
Sisters first
All progress is good progress – right, girls? Not according to some outspoken adland feminists, who, despite wanting to smash glass ceilings, think the Cannes Glass Lions is a rooftop too far.
Hashtag #fail
Hashtags are a minefield. Remember the ill-fated #susanalbumparty? So brands beware. When asking guests to use a hashtag for an event, it's wise to check out its prior content. One recent event wasn't so careful, with yet another event hashtag filled with pornography. OTR diligently checked it out immediately. It's not what we would call a "huge amount" of porn, but it's definitely more bodies than any tourism body would want to see.
Indecent SEO proposal
OTR is constantly getting emails from ‘SEO professionals’ informing us that our search rankings are woeful and that they can help us get to the first page in Google’s elusive rankings. We’re quite sure that OTR needs a helping hand but it appears these so-called professionals think they can teach the master a thing or two. OTR hears that even Googler’s get the emails. Uppity little SEO professionals.
Manly man
Real men sound like men. And the defining character of a manly man, is his hold music. Which is how OTR knows that one TV exec in particular is the very definition of a manly man. Or even two and a half of them. His hold music says so.
Foul play
Word on the field is that conjecture regarding Google bidding to acquire the digital AFL rights was a cleverly-placed leak by AFL sources intending to wrestle more cash out of Telstra, which currently owns the rights. Things are starting to really heat up now, clearly. Interesting that the leak appeared in the SMH - surely it knows there’s a chance it’s being used as a pawn in the fierce negotiations?
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