A series by AdNews shinning a light on toxic masculinity and encourages Australians to support themselves and their mates. Featuring industry leaders sharing personal experiences with the tagline -- When the going gets tough, get talking.
It celebrates the BOYS DO CRY campaign, which launched with a transformed version of The Cure’s iconic song, Boys Don’t Cry. The campaign is the brainchild of independent advertising agency The Hallway, produced in partnership with The University of Melbourne’s Centre for Mental Health, Heiress Films, Good Oil’s Tom Campbell, Uncanny Valley, Initiative and powered by UnLtd – raising funds for mental fitness foundation Gotcha4Life.
Conor Riordan, Client Director at Kaimera:
When was the last time you cried?
Everyone cries. Whether it’s happy or sad, crying simply means you actually care enough about something or someone, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of.
The last time I cried was both a happy AND sad day. It was New Year’s Eve 2022. I was crying with love for two of my best friends, who were standing in front of each other exchanging their vows. The happiness radiating from them was overwhelming and I’m not ashamed to say I shed a few tears of joy.
However, I was also sad that day as a result of supporting a family member who had been struggling for a long time. In the same way that happiness can be contagious, we are often compelled to shoulder the burdens of those closest to us.
Sometimes crying is all you can do.
Tell us about your experience of traditional masculine stereotypes growing up.
Being gay, attending an all-boys school certainly had its highs and lows. I have many fond memories from my time at school. My closest friends to this day are the boys I met during my time there, but the mix of Catholic and ‘normal’ masculine expectations meant I spent my entire schooling life in the closet.
I wasn’t exactly devoid of stereotypes as a young gay man and these constantly placed me in situations where I felt forced to either confess or deny who I was. I can’t quantify the stress this placed on me as a boy.
Sometimes I feel like all I did in high school was look over my shoulder to make sure I hadn’t made a misstep, or done anything that might reveal who I truly was. That’s not an inner dialogue you want to have with yourself every single night before you go to bed, at any age.
When I came out in my early 20s it was my friends, brother’s, mum, dad and grandma’s acceptance that helped heal a lot of the damage done by those years of conformity. It still left its mark though.
What would you tell your 15-year-old self about opening up and showing your emotions?
I’d tell my 15-year-old self to stop feeling guilty about everything. Stop showing everyone else what you think they want to see. Be more vulnerable. It’s scary, but you’ll get to the good stuff so much quicker than waiting to be your true self.
What do you want for the next generation?
Expression without fear of consequence. Young people shouldn’t have to fear opinions other people shouldn’t have.
What do we, as a society, need to do to challenge views that men should always put on a brave front?
We all need to get over ourselves. We shouldn’t need a bunch of leaders to stand up and show us how to do the right thing. We just need to stop judging each other. Period. Find the courage to start being transparent and have the compassion and respect to listen to one another.
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