Bottoms Up remembers playing with Lego … then discovering no ability to build anything of substance or safety, so we ended up in media. Now there’s a Lego Movie? Huh?
Seems like someone has put the emphasis on 'content' in 'branded content' well. But that content is actually entirely the brand itself. And it’s an awesome brand that has always encouraged its users to create their own content by getting the fire trucks to help the sheriff protect the bank.
Then there was that awesome part when the robber broke out of jail and you had to get him again using the special racer car made up of black, yellow and grey pieces with roof tiles on top. Cool.
Then my parents gave my Lego away. 2013 was a tough year. But the Lego Movie got us excited about the other upcoming ads soon to be feature length at a cinema near you.
Here’s our top five.
You Got A Door?
Work Out to Get Out of Your Room
Starring Bruce Willis, as man with a door that’s a gym, this riveting 90-minute flick will leave you checking the suitability of your door frames. Stuck in the home, office or dorm, (who knows, you can make a gym anywhere) Willis finds a workout regime to increase his self-esteem enough to get over is agoraphobia and get out of the house. Critics are calling this ‘a tour de force’, ‘the best door gym I’ve seen’, and ‘wow, if you’ve got a door, you’ve really got a gym'.
2 Stars.
The Legend Of Old Spice: Part 1 of 7
What am I on?
Dubbed as the new Harry Potter, The Legend of Old Spice, follows our protagonist on a four-hour journey through nowhere. Stealing the show as the only actor on screen, the actor calmly traverses scenes without a shirt, even in the more adventurous Antarctic scenes. 3.5 stars.
Two People. One Focus Group. 49 Chicken Ribs.
The Spice, I Love Spices
Love flourishes when nourished – with chicken ribs. Over the course of an afternoon, two focus group members improbably fall for each other as they discover a shared passion for spices and previously un-used parts of poultry. Audiences have described this as ‘A disturbing tale’, ‘the performances leave an unfamiliar and unpleasant taste in your mouth’, and ‘Why? Really why?’.
0.5 Stars.
When Lube Mobile Doesn’t Come To You
No reception. No lube. No mobile.
From director of Wolf Creek comes the latest psychological thriller starring John Jarrett and Noni Hazlehurst. ‘Haunting’, ‘Edge of my seat’, ‘I’ll never drive anywhere ever again.’
1.5 Stars.
Home Alone 40: Still Trying to Call Home
Kevin! Kevin! Kevin! Kevin!.....
Macauley Caulkin stars as every member of the Australian Girls Choir and National Boys Choir in a startling performance. Stranded in every city around the world that Qantas services, the children must find a way back home. Against the odds, this is a story of triumph over adversity and a lesson to parents: do not let you children travel in a large group wearing identical clothing – nothing good can come of this. Audiences are calling this ‘Big Mac’s return to form’, with one member of the audience screaming, ‘Mila [Kunis] why would you leave him?’ Hot tip for Best Actor, Actress, Supporting Actor and Supporting Actress: Macauley.
4 Stars.
P.S. Lego Car. That’s all.
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