Two Cents: Meeting my Facebook self

This is not so much a confession as it is a realisation. Here it goes... If I was to ever meet the guy I portray myself to be on Facebook in the real world, I'd think he was a massive dickhead.

My guess is he'd think he was a lot better looking than he actually is, walk around constantly commentating his every action and would promise to go to a lot of events that he never intended on going to. Not to mention he'd feel the need to let everyone know whether he did or didn't like everything they said.

His only redeeming "quality" would come from the fact that he laughed a lot out loud. Besides this there would be very little to like about my Facebook self and I don't think I'm alone with this analysis.

While I'm sure the update "What's with fire eaters, it's like, ever heard of hamburgers?" was and is hilarious, (and it got me 9 likes and like 14 comments... just saying) when would that ever be ok to say in public without getting an uppercut? We have clearly created a new set of guidelines for what's deemed to be acceptable social etiquette.

By nature we are a social bunch, and with that comes an instinctual desire to share our stories. Problem is that authenticity has taken a backseat and instead, we get fables that are validated by people who are desperate to be part of the "in-joke".

The by-product of this is an unavoidable mounting pressure to compete. Just think about the number of times you have heard someone say "I would have commented but I couldn't think of something funny".

Another example of this pressure sees the hyperbolic version of me feeling guilty about staying at home on a Friday night instead of checking into some bar with a strange name... or watching someone get beaten up at Ivy. It's at the point where there's a public shame for having a night in when it's exactly what I want and need.

More and more we see our relationships credibly live online rather than in person; just look at Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn... and adultfriendfinder. Am I the only one concerned by the fact that these profiles don't reflect who we truly are.

That's because we have been given the opportunity to project a desired image of ourselves that we think others would like, but in reality, don't truly like ourselves.

So let's all try be a little more honest shall we? In an act of solidarity, I'm going to lead by example...

Loraine I met you once 4 years ago and accepted your friend request in a moment of weakness. I was lying about going to your VIP Cristal tasting event in an unused train-station this weekend... I won't be coming because I'm broke, don't really know you and would much prefer to watch a DVD.

I read somewhere that in real life, humility, selflessness and love of others are supposed to be our most valued and attractive attributes. In instead we see strategic lighting, absurd pouting and way to much flexing.

All I can say is, thank god, I'm a shadow of my Facebook self. But why are they so different?

Why? Because what's valued in life, isn't valued on Facebook.